Social Stigmas ( sorry class I got personal )

Ok. Before I start this blog I need to preface it by saying this might not be the most well put-together or thought out blog entry, but I need to get it off my chest before I take an extreme rash action and potentially jeopardize my friendships in Fiji.  This is also commenting on Fiji as a whole, not any individuals specifically so if anyone is reading this that feels it is a personal attack... its not.

Joel... ha... this is personal, especially to this fraternity ... so if you don't want to know about some of my private issues then stop reading.

(Also this post will include some derogatory and vulgar language so stop reading if you don't want to let your eyes fall upon these words. Also if you don't want to read some very personal information stop reading as well.)

And so it begins.

Stigmas. Fucking social stigmas. How or why these come into being and come to define one's whole existence is beyond me. Whats even worse is the stereotypes that come along with these stigmas. If you excessively drink one too many nights, society defines you as someone who has a drinking problem(by the way this is not my problem.. at least I don't believe its the heart of the issue in my fraternity. I will dive into my problem later on.) This drinking problem leads to stereotypes, and stereotypes lead right back to worsening the stigma that has now been placed upon you.

Stigmas don't even have to be a direct result of your actions. In my example about myself, that i'll get into later, it could even be placed on you through who you surround yourself with. More easily defined, you are guilty by association.

Now that I have expressed some of my views about stigmas I suppose i'll jump right into my situation.

Who fucking cares?  I like to have a good time and party as well. Not many people can say they don't. So what I want to know is why some people get their panties in a bunch  over this? What in god's name gives these elitist pricks the right to assume that if a person has ever "patrtied" they are of no contributing value to society? Why is it when someone has smoked pot or partied that instantly they have a stigma put upon them that instantly defines every unexplained action. Recently I needed to take a break from my brothers because I was pissed at a certain situation in my fraternity. So I removed myself from the situation and spent 2 nights at some of my friends outside of Fiji. When I came back..... guess why everyone thought I was away..... to smoke pot. What the fuck? Do people seriously not know me well enough to think there might be other reasons for my absence?

This situation has perpetuated itself over and over again in Fiji. At the start of my Greek career I informed my brothers that I loved to party. Guess I set myself up poorly for future interactions because from that point on I was known as "that" kid. To make it worse, the friends I hung out with in Fiji already had a bad stigma. So even though I have never really been out of control drunk (or at least not as consistently as most of my brothers), and definitely do not fit the stereotypical stoner role, I all of the sudden found myself in a world of judgement for not living my life "up to Fiji code."

Now I will admit that I was might have partied a little harder than some. But I do not believe, especially after I have made so much progress in Fiji, my life goals/priorities, and myself as a person, that my freshman year should hold me back in people's minds.

People in Fiji do NOT value my opinions or look to me to be a contributing member in any fashion.

Recently I applied for Chair positions in Fiji to prove myself to my fraternity, in an attempt to "throw off" my stigma and the stereotypes that have been put on me. Apparently, two brothers who have been in Fiji a lot less than I have got the two positions because our Cabinet wanted them to have a chance to shine. I still don't actually believe thats the real reasons why I wasn't chosen, but I still would have been fine with the decision. What pisses the FUCK out of me is that everyone else who applied for chair positions, and like me didn't get a position, were told by cabinet, specifically, how they wanted them to contribute to Fiji's overall improvement. GUESS WHAT? I wasn't even talked to until I asked why I wasn't chosen. When I questioned this, the response I got was "well if you want to do something just join a committee and contribute how you want to."

I don't know if i'm overreacting but why would other brothers be informed specifically on what aspects they were to contribute and then I get thrown by the wayside?

I have never given Fiji a reason to doubt my abilities when contributing to its well-being. So why am I not trusted? All I can think of is my stigma that for some reason is still around.

Not everything I do revolves around partying and getting fucked up. And if people don't know this then I seriously am frowning on the years i've wasted with people I thought were my friends and would get to know me... for ME, and not some stupid stigma that was placed on me.

This isn't even an issue with me specifically, I think it is a problem with Fiji as a whole to anyone who has a stigma that has been placed upon them.

Anyways, glad I could get this off my chest. Thanks if you have read this all the way through.